inadequacy

When I started teaching I had a group of twelve very rambunctious (also referred to as looney) third and fourth graders. Two of these students were twins. We can call them C and C. C and C were by far two of the looniest students in our school, known by name, despite them being identical, by most adults in the building.

These two boys hardly ever came to school

When they did come to school they were running around the building (without permission)

They came to school with clothes that were too small (often dirty)

Both boys are at a kindergarten/pre-kindergarten academic level

Both are victims of abuse

Both were born with fetal alcohol syndrome

and I fell in LOVE with these children.

While I don't teach them, it brings me joy to see them in the hallway and it makes my day when they come visit me up on the fourth floor. In such a short period of time, I have seen them grow an immense amount.

This past weekend, one of the boys got hit by a car, will be hospitalized for eight weeks, and is paralyzed.

Being an inner-city school teacher is rough, but in hearing this news, my heart sank. Every day i leave school feeling like I do not have control of anything- behavior, academic achievement, student investment, and the list could go on. Nothing, NOTHING even the worst of days at work, compares to the inadequacy I felt in hearing that my twins were out, unsupervised, playing on a major road, late at night.

The hardest part about this job is not the work it entails, it is leaving work everyday knowing that THIS can happen to our children.